Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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