i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
