Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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