I think I am morally bankrupt
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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