you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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