I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
