i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
