I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize