I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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