dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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