? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
