very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
