The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
