STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
