I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I licked your asshole in confidence.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
