Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
