yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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