I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
