I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
