Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
