This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Randomize
