just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
