its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
