I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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