This is not my ceiling
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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