im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I think im going to throw up on grandma
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
