There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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