thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
So many bounce houses so little time
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
