we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
