Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
