The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
