Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Randomize
