Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
