I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
