omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
She just used a chaser for red wine.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
