You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
When did angry sex become our thing?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
