i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
