dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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