The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
