I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
