is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
