Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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