We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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