This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
