Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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