I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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