It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
