I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
