Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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