I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
