just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
